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Are You Going To Hell?

I am.

(I'm aware this entry may offend some, but I'm taking advantage of free-speech here and since I'm going to Hell anyway...)

I just came across this:

TRY THE TEST

(Go ahead, I'll wait while you take the test)

Okay, now let's analyze this for a moment.

Question #1 - If you have ever told a lie, you are going to Hell. Now I don't know a SINGLE person who has never told at least ONE lie in their whole life. According to this, every person I know is going to Hell.

Now I'm not the kind of person who likes to lie: in fact I'm terrible at it and avoid it to an extreme, but I'm human and of course I've told a lie in my lifetime!

Question #7 - If you have ever looked at someone and had lustful thoughts you are an adulterer and are going to Hell. Now my question is this: if it is natural to have lustful feelings for the purpose of wanting to have sex (which is natural because we are meant to reproduce) than why we go to Hell for it? Even children can have lustful thoughts for St. Peter's sake! And again, I don't know a SINGLE person who has not had lustful thoughts.

Now, I'm a virgin , yet, because I've had lustful thoughts, I'm going to Hell. Well if this is the case, I might as well just get really slutty since I'm already going to Hell, no?

Question #5 - If you have ever used "God" "Jesus" or "Christ" as curse words, you are going to Hell . But I wonder, if the intent I use behind a curse word is the same no matter if I say "God-damn" or "F-ck" shouldn't it be equally as sinful? If you accidentally blurt out "Jesus Christ" in surprise - well good luck to you.

Now, I grew up in a Roman Catholic household/school and I find that I use "God's name in vain" much more often than all the people I know who didn't grow up Catholic - weird eh? Nonetheless, because of this, I'm going to Hell.

Question #4 - If you have ever stolen anything (no matter how small) you're going to Hell . When I was a little girl, I stole a cookie from the cookie jar - I guess ever since then I've been doomed. It was a delicious cookie God-damnit!

Again, I'm no thief. The very thought of stealing anything makes me uncomfortable and I never ever do it. Still, that cookie did me in.

Question #8 - If you have ever had a God before God (?) you are going to Hell . Not only this, but apparently EVERYONE has done this so if you say you have not, you are a liar and are going to Hell. What this means is that EVERYONE is going to Hell because no one has kept this commandment - whether you're Christian, Pagan, Jewish - you're going to Hell so why even try? Why even create this quiz if we're all going to come up with the same answer.

Now, this is one commandment that I'm extremely guilty of though of course I have no guilt over it. There, I said it - I'm going to Hell.

EBDOIP.jpg

Questions #2, 3, and 6 - If you have ever given money to charity, gone to church regularly, or made it a practice to read the bible regularly, this pleases God, but does not mean you're not going to Hell . That's right - no loop holes here.

Something I wonder about is why would God care if we read the bible at all? The bible is just a book and was not created by him... it doesn't make sense.
There's also the church thing - since there was no such thing as a Christian church before Christ's life, does that mean that no one EVER went to heaven earlier than 2000 years ago? hmmmm. Hold on - if I remember correctly, there were no Christian churches while Christ was alive --- wouldn't that mean he wasn't allowed into heaven either? (oooh controversial)

Now, I have given money to charity but the only times I go to church are when there's a wedding or when I want to see the church because I really love old churches. As for reading the bible, I have read it a few times and once in a while I read some of it, but I LOVE to read so if I were only to read the bible all the time I'd miss out on all the great books in the world. Oh to Hell I go.

At the end of this quiz, it asks you to choose whether you're guilty or innocent of breaking God's commandments. I can't click innocent, obviously (and according to #8 no one can). So I click guilty. Then it asks if you think you're going to Heaven or Hell: I click Heaven, remembering how forgiving God is supposed to be. Wrong! I'm still going to Hell - no redemption for me. Then it asks if the fact that I'm going Hell concerns me. I answered NO, because frankly, I don't believe in Hell. Well it SHOULD CONCERN ME! Apparently.

Therefore, my brethren, the message is that every person should live their life dreading death because no matter what, we're all going to hell and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. A life of fear? Well if that's the case, shouldn't we all just go on killing sprees and sex-capades? Why not? We're going to Hell anyway...

P.S. Hell is actually the name of a very old Goddess of the Underworld. Just another example of commandment #8 (though shall not steal) being broken.

EBDONS.jpg

Isn't this the guy from Growing Pains?

(Yes, he's going to hell too).


-Marylin.


Related Links

Now, What Level Of Hell Are You Going To? - http://www.4degreez.com/...
So You've Decided To Be Evil
- http://www.darksites.com/souls/horror/evilguide/index.html






10 Comments:

I failed that test. I have lied, stolen and done other "naughty" stuff. But i've also repented. Jesus stands for me because when i realised who he was, i gave my life and my heart to him. I'll still stuff up, i'll always stuff up because i'm human and no human is ever, nor can be perfect.
But as long as i trust in Jesus that he will work with my heart and mould me according to his desire, he will stand for me in my defence.
I'm not going to hell because of that. Isn't that awesome???
But perhaps you could ask the question of people, "Are you judgemental?" because that's a super big no-no too :o)
Unfortunatly there are a lot of the churches "good people" out there who do give the church a bad name. People think that as long as they have God in their lives, they can judge everyone else according to those same 10 commandments that you mentioned. But one big think God talks about is not to judge other people,"lest you yourself be judged." I don't want that responsibility! lol The bible also says,"before pointing out the splinter in someone elses eye, pull out the log in your own."
Our relationship between us and God is just that, between us and God. As one of those people you refer to as his "good people", it's my job, according to the bible, to love my nieghbour as myself. Not to judge. I'm not perfect. I do plenty wrong. Lucky for me i have one judge and what i do "wrong" is no-one elses business. Because my heart belongs to Jesus, if someone bags me out for doing something wrong, i tell them if they don't like it, tell God about it and let him deal with it.
That soon shuts them up lol

By Blogger TitanThirteen, at December 15, 2006  

Although I agree that there is no Hell, as long as you are not a Christian, you are still going to hell in their eyes. So it is pretty much useless to make a list like this, because no matter what, Pagans are like second-class citizens to every Christian. No matter what we're not going to their fantastical Heaven, and in some ways that's a good thing. But writing a list like this is going to draw them towards you, note cactusfreek's comment. They all want you to join their little cult. So just ignore their silly little games, and you'll have nothing to worry about.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 08, 2007  

I don't have to take that test to know I'm going to hell!HAHAHAHAHA!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 12, 2007  

According to Buddhists, life on earth is "Samsara" and that pretty much equals "Hell on Earth", so why should we worry to go to Hell? We're already in it... Remember when a situation is at its worst, it can only become better, so I suppose after this should come a better life (although I have my doubts about that). Still haven't found the reason for this one, why should there be a next one then? Greetings and Blessed be!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 04, 2007  

Hey Marylin. Its Tricia.
I'm going to hell!!! Oh no...I'm so scared! Jesus Christ save my soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 14, 2007  

I think this whole thing is hilarious I took the quiz in both ways, my Pagan way and then I answered it the way I would had if I was still going to Church no matter what I am going straight to HELL!!!

This whole thing reminds me of a joke I read

A Pagan in Hell

A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before some pearly gates.

St. Peter asks him, "May I help you?"

The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"

Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."

The Pagan says, "But I don't believe in heaven."

Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"

"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."

Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for remodeling."

"What should I do now?"

Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell.

Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."

The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.

He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely.

"Hello, I'm Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"

"Yes, I am. What's going to happen now?"

Satan says, "Well, the fishing's pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing.

There's a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."

Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it.

The stench of sulfur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit, which immediately closes up with a thud.

The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, "And what was THAT ???"

Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They're Christians; they wouldn't have it any other way."

By Blogger Unknown, at May 14, 2007  

I don't get the joke.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 26, 2007  

The problem with the current version of the joke is that half of it is missing. Before the christian falls screaming to his burning hell, there are (I think) two other men who are sent down to "hell" of different religions. I have first heard this joke about 10 years ago & have not been able to get the whole thing since then. The other two men might be baptist & jewish, but I don't remember for sure. Hearing the stories of the other two men & their beliefs of hell & then hearing the way the christian falls screaming to a fierce & firey hell is what makes it so funny. Also I don't believe that the "Gate Keeper" of hell was actually called Satan...because of course there is no such thing as satan & pagan joke would not actually have satan as the gate keeper to hell.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at July 08, 2007  

Well, even incomplete, the joke was still funny.

Although, I have to say that because of the way that goofy little test was put together...just reaffirms to me that leaving Christianity was a good idea.

That, and I'd rather take responsibilty or my actions, and not let someone else take the fall fo me. That just seems like the coward's way out, to me.

And yes, I'm going to Hell, too.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at October 14, 2007  

This one rely made me laugh. Im 17 and rolled across your page. Iv grown up in a Christian Family and have gone to church all my life. Iv gone to to Vacation Bible Schools and camps. But iv always been curious about the Wicca way of life and have been secretly been studying it.
Iv learned quit a lot and would like to convert. This blog, altho been a christian all my life, I fill the same way about the whole deal as you.
I just wanted to say thanx and this rely made me smile.

By Blogger marchingted, at September 28, 2008  

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